MONDAY MORNING REGRETS
I had a very unproductive weekend. I have this…. thing… that happens every single time I take on a new project. Y’see, whenever I’ve finished a job– whether it’s a mini series or I’m moving on from an ongoing I’ve been drawing– I like to take a week or so to unwind… to decompress. I never realized just how stressful drawing under pressure of publication deadlines could be before I got into this business, and so when I’ve finished with a job, I need to just vegetate in front of the TV or do a lot of reading to ‘cleanse my mental palate’, so to speak. I just need to step away. Unfortunately, that always creates a big problem for me as a result. I’ve always needed to draw almost every day– that is to create a new drawing, whether it’s something finished or just a sketch– to keep loose, fluid and to keep my confidence in my abilities up.
It’s sort of like a vicious cycle with each new project. I have the need to step away after such a long period of time in the pressure cooker of comics production — and yet, by stepping away and not drawing consistently for a week or so, I lose confidence and the belief in my abilities that allow me to produce work in a somewhat timely manner. The result of this is that I get entirely intimidated by the script for my new assignment…. and those doubts and deep seeded fears that I’m completely unsuited for that new job– or worse– that feeling that creative folks (or maybe anyone, for that matter) can get that they’re a fraud and unworthy of the position they’re in…. comes creeping in. I would have thought that after almost 15 years of drawing comics on a somewhat consistent basis (I always have to throw in that qualifier– I’ve never been a true monthly guy. It takes me 6 weeks or more to produce a fully pencilled comic book), that I would have either worked past this situation that hobbles me at the beginning of each new job… or I would have found some way to comfortably prevent or circumvent it. Perhaps that will never happen. I just might have to resign myself to that frustrating fact of life…. or, maybe it’s just something that’s tied up in the work-for-hire world. I’ve never had that problem with anything I’ve drawn for myself. TELLOS never presented me with those feelings. I looked forward to each new day with TELLOS.
So maybe it’s the difference between working for ‘The Man’ and working for myself.
I spent the weekend working on character designs for some of the players in this new project I’m starting… so hopefully though I haven’t done any actual interior page work on the book, that will loosen me up enough to get started.
So– I’m gonna get to it. Have a great start to the work week, folks.
This is Entry 398 (only one more post until 400….)
Mike
July 9th, 2007 at 10:38 am
Hmmm. I’d think after a week off you’d be all rarin’ to go and take pencil to paper. Then, of course, I’ve never worked under a publication deadline or felt that kinda stress. (Though in college the other two artists for our comic got on my back when I was late.) But that time could also be used to step back and see what you like and disliked with the latest project and apply those comments to the next book
You’re not alone on the “working for the Man” thing either. It’s hard to get excited about a project that’s someone else’s idea/creation. But those kinda projects pay the bills so you can do the things that keep you sane (read: TELLOS).
As to confidence, you should have it in spades. Your style has consistently gotten tighter and tighter over the period I’ve been following your work. Just listen to the posters here. Keep it up, Mike.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Gorgeous Serra Mike.
What you talk about is very common in the creative field, especially amongst authors. A standard piece of advice in the publishing world is for the author to already be working on his
next book before the current book comes out.
Sounds like that’s what you’re doing with your current project by working on the character designs. I’d say that would be the way to go. Do some character designs or, if such work isn’t necessary, just the first page of the new project and then take your break. That way you’ll have a little jump start for the new project.
As for the confidence issue, I know it’s hard to see when it’s your own work, but I think you’ve got talent to spare and from what I read on the web and hear at the conventions, I’m far from alone in that opinion.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Re: the confidence thing: I think that is part & parcel of being a sensitive creative, the ‘down’ side, if you will. The ‘up’ side being: being observant of details of expression and dress and movement; taking in the feeling of a scene and conveying it pictorially. I’ve often wished away my own issues with “confidence”, but then reevaluate when I think that in doing so, I might lose the ‘good parts’ of being “sensitive”. Plenty of days when I cannot get out of my own way, where the theme du jour is, “Who ever told me that I could draw?!?”
Fortunately, those days are tempered with days that just roll smoothly and quickly without a lot of eraser wear-n-tear.
Thoughts on working for ‘the man: Cah actually be slumber-inducing. Then, a project that’s of your own choosing: why, is that the clock saying 5am???
July 9th, 2007 at 11:43 am
That decompression thing sounds like what my husband Robin goes through as well. Almost every time he finishes an issue he just crashes — sometimes I think it’s worse with inkers because they have to make up time if the pencils are late. I’m really glad to hear Rob’s not the only comic book artist who goes through this! Do you think it’s a sign of getting older?
July 9th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Mike,
Hopefully you’ll be working with a writer that inspires your creativity and you’ll launch into this new project with renewed vigor and vitality.
You have always been and will always be the man. I can’t wait to see what the new project is.
July 9th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Interesting, if only because I can understand the need to decompress. Those hours of vegetating in front of the television somehow help clear out the remnants and return one to the blank slate state.
The rub about working on your own is always having the discipline to sit down each and every day and churn it out – as time goes on I find myself developing a deeper respect and admiration for the generation of guys I grew up on, Jack Kirby, John and Sal Buscema, Gene Colan, George Tuska, Gil Kane, John Romita. They seem today to be of a different breed.
Makes me think about your working process and if there is a way to turn that decompress time into something useful in the way of experimentation. The other rub is having to churn out the pages on a regular basis to make a decent living.
July 9th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
I went through a similar thing. What really pulled me back on the war horse was reading ROCKETO Vo. 2, which I just bought today. Man, I love reading all manner of comics, but only a few have the ability to inspire me. That’s one of them.
Anyways, good luck, man. You are the most personal and honest guy in the industry I’ve ever seen. Just want you to know I’m rooting for you.
July 9th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
I’m sorry to hear that the decompression stage of your work is causing you to have that uck feeling. I can only imagine that your pain is shared by many others in similar positions. My friend struggles with this every day he works on pages, trying to find one little thing to keep him interested in what maybe a “slower” project or something that he could have done better with a panel or a face, etc. I guess even in my field (computers that is far from the reaches of comics) I try to find something interesting or inventive in each thing I do. Little milestones that are reachable and knowing that when I do that or get to that point, it is a success. While it isn’t the greatest thing for another person, I try to see it as a success for me and at the end of the day, that is what matters.
I’m curious if you feel on days like this that you miss the studio environment? Do you think that working with others would help you make it through these days a lot more easier or would it frustrate you more knowing that you’re being self critical on your work while others are flowing on their pages/projects? I think it is a Catch 22 but I would think that the benefits would outweigh the negatives.
Either way, it is a great drawing and there are plenty out there that will pick up your project and enjoy the crap out of them! Looking forward to your next gig and announcement of it.
July 9th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
I hear you on the decompression thing, Mike. For anyone who puts their all into a project, once it’s done you have to have some kind of transition, hopefully restful. As for confidence, I’ll echo everyone here and say you should know that your work is much beloved. I think your doubt in your ability has a positive side though because it drives you to push your skills with every new drawing, that’s been clear watching you evolve over the past few years.
Anyway, I for one am very excited to hear you have something new coming after Spidey/FF, can’t wait to hear more details!
July 10th, 2007 at 1:05 am
seems like the answer to your problem is to do MORE TELLOS and less stuff for the man.
July 10th, 2007 at 4:39 am
PLEASE READ THIS MIKE. I HOPE IT HELPS. 🙂
I WAS GOING TO MAKE A CRACK AT BART BUT I WON’T
BUT BART HAS IT RIGHT!
YEAH, MORE TELLOS!
SERIOUSLY…
“being observant of details of expression…dress and movement; taking in the feeling of a scene and conveying it pictorially.”
WHEN YOU OBSERVE LIFE SO MUCH YOU DON’T JUST DO IT FOR A PROJECT BUT ALSO COMPAIR THAT TO YOUR OWN AND IT CAN BE DISHEARTENING
IMAGINARY WORLDS IS REALLY WHERE WE REALLY WANT TO BE NOT MUNDANENESS
“Who ever told me that I could draw?!?”
WELL, YOUR FANS TELL YOU ALL THE TIME, YOU JUST HAVE TO BE THE SAME WAY
“those days are tempered with days that just roll smoothly and quickly without a lot of eraser wear-n-tear.”
WHEN YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE DAYS THINK OF WHY THAT DAY IS GOING SMOOTHLY AND APPLY THAT TO THOSE THAT ARE NOT AS SMOOTH
ALOT OF IT HAS TO DO WITH HOW YOU REACT TO THINGS HAPPENING
“Makes me think about your working process and if there is a way to turn that decompress time into something useful in the way of experimentation.”
I KNOW YOU HAVE TRIED THIS RECENTLY, THIS ALSO COMES FROM THINKING THAT OTHER CREATORS MIGHT BE BETTER THAN YOUR CURRENT STYLE
ALSO “…you’re being self critical on your work while others are flowing on their pages/projects?”
DO NOT BELIEVE THAT
DO NOT CHANGE A THING, WE LOVE IT BUT WE DO WISH THERE WAS MORE OF IT LIKE TELLOS, BTW THIS BLOG REALLY HELPS, EVERY FEWS DAYS I GET A NEW ONE, AWESOME!
I SUGGEST TRING NEW MEDIUMS AND TECHNIQUES, GET AROUND THOSE ON YOUR BREAK TIME WHO LOVE YOUR WORK (THE OTHER GUYS)HELP YOU TRY SOME EXPERIMENTS, NOT JUST “WING IT”
ALSO WORK A WEEK AND TAKE 2 DAYS OFF INSTEAD OF A WEEK OR MORE
MIGHT BE TOO MUCH TIME FOR YOU
IF YOU STILL DO TAKE MORE THAN A WEEK, MAKE THAT SECOND WEEK ABOUT CREATING NOT VEGITATING
SPEND THE TIME WITH DOING SOMETHING OUTSIDE WITH THE FAMILY, SOMETHING FUN
“The other rub is having to churn out the pages on a regular basis to make a decent living.”
YOUR EXPENSES MIGHT ALSO BE GETTING IN THE WAY OF CREATING, NEED TO LOWER THEM AND COME UP WITH YOUR OWN PROJECTS LIKE TELLOS
COLLABORATE ON PROJECTS LIKE TELLOS
THE MORE PROJECTS LIKE TELLOS YOU DO THE BETTER YOU WILL FEEL
THE FANS HERE WILL SUPPORT THAT AND THAT WILL LOWER HOPEFULLY SOME OF YOUR EXPENSES
THEN HELP OTHERS MAKE THEIR PROJECTS HAPPEN, PRODUCE THEM FOR THEM AND IF THOSE PROJECTS ARE QUALITY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO EVEN MORE LATER
“Little milestones that are reachable … is a success.”
YOU COMPLETING ANY PROJECT IS A BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT, REWARD YOURSELF EVERY TIME
COME UP WITH REWARDS TO GIVE YOURSELF
AGAIN TAKE THIS ADVICE PLEASE AND MORE TELLOS 🙂
July 10th, 2007 at 4:39 am
MAN, THAT ONE LOOOONG POST! 🙂
July 10th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Reading between the lines – pun intended – I think Comikxguy would like for you and Todd to “Tellos” another story.
July 10th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Cool drawing, Mike!
Spidey/FF has been great, and from it I can see why you need to decompress — you throw everything into the pages, and it shows. Great work as always!
(On a somewhat unrelated note … is that Tellos hardcover on the docket anytime soon? The delays are killing me, because when it was due in May I told my sister that it would be out in time for her birthday, which is this Friday. I hope she understands …)
July 10th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
There is a “sports” expression….”LEAVE IT ALL ON THE FIELD/COURT.”
If you have given your all into a project, you SHOULD be tired and in need of rest. There is always the “crash” afterwards and you want to just get away from it all but then that next practice session is always looming around the corner to get you ready for the next game.
And I do very much believe that you leave it all on the drawing board. It does help to share the load sometimes or take a vacation as time permits. The suggestion of the studio atmosphere may be on the money, but remembering many of your posts, it sounds like you sort of have that over the telephone with many of your professional friends.
Rest well and refresh your creative stock. We will be awaiting the product with bated breath.
July 10th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
Wow I posted the wrong messege last time, I meant to post my last comment with this one. Wow.
Anyway, artists block can be a real problem. But I have a suggestion. Have you tried switching up your materials? Sometimes I know that I get in a rut if I’m always using the same materials day in and out.
I don’t know what kind of board you draw on but maybe jumping to a difffrent way of working might help. Switching from rough textured cold pressed illustration board to a smooth hot pressed surface for example. Maybe switching from your pencil type of prefrence (blue col-erase I think)to another type just for a while just to exeriment.
July 12th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Bravo to you Mike for saying what nearly all every artist feels. It takes a hearty soul to ‘man-up’ and admit such things to a wide audience of varying personalities.
That being said, what you describe (that feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt) is something I’m certain nearly every artist feels at one time or another- I know I have. However, saying that doesn’t make your feelings go away or lessen. I suppose having to find ways to trick the mind into trusting in self is the only way to go. It’s either that or continue to face the feelings of inadequacy and made up fradulence with each week that you take away from the drawing board.